the 16 year old boy types “www.facebook.com” into his school’s public computer, only to find that his other male friend is already logged in. he smiles smugly to himself and types “i’m gay lol i like boys in my butt” as a facebook status. the boy laughs maniacally to himself. it is the single greatest facebook hack ever accomplished by any other human. he is god among his friends and the entire classroom erupts in laughter as he jumps on a cloud and ascends into the sky
me before shaving my legs:oh god do i really have to can't i be a fucking hobbit why would you even care if my legs are hairy maybe if i don't shave them for a month i will have fur as soft as cat's
me after shaving my legs:JESUS VIRGIN MARY'S TITS SUCKER CHRIST THIS IS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD where are all the people i have to make them touch my legs if i were a legophile i would totally do me so soft so beautiful
Britain is like that one kid in your class that dresses nice and classy and acts respectful but then you get to know them and they’re actually really weird and you have no idea what they’re doing/talking about half the time but it’s awesome and confusing and just wtf?
i spent 15 minutes being sexiled in my bathroom while my parents were having sex and i didnt know what to do so i just paced around with my fingers in my ears because I NOW KNOW WHAT MY PARENTS ARE INTO AND BEING LOUD IN BED IS HEREDITARY APPARENTLY. DEAR GOD. i’m afraid to go to the bathroom again. i’ve been holding my pee for an hour. there’s no escape.